wow, I'm surprised I'm still using blogger! it's been exactly two years since I started doing this and I'm still at it. crazy!

just for fun I've been browsing my past entries...this one resonated with me for a lot of reasons. If you told me then that in 2005 I'll not only graduate but will also..

- go back to the city (and exact house) where I was born,
- visit England,
- be getting ready to go to Cuba and most important of all,
- find an internship in Johannesburg

...I would've laughed in your face...I would've thought you were the biggest crackpot on this earth! it's amazing how things turn out.

I wonder where I'll be next year?? I'm giddy just thinking of the possibilities! what's that saying, 'the world is your oyster'...yeah that's exactly what it feels like right now.

happy new year :)

today was...BOXING DAY! dang, I should've stayed home. no sale was worth what I went through today..no sale on earth.

...

Ok ok, I'm being a drama queen but as a borderline claustrophobic I should've known to stay clear of the mall after 12:00pm!

anyway, to update...I got me a temporary job while I wait for the Big Day. for the last several weeks I've been working at a magazine distribution warehouse. The job is pretty easy and the pay is really good.

oh and thanks to the extra cash, I can afford to go on a mini-vacation! weeeeeeeeeee!

I'll be in Cuba from Jan 1-Jan 8 with a very good friend. I've always wanted to go to cuba, I just never had the time or resources to go through with it.

looking back now, it's so clear that school was holding me back from doing a lot of things! honestly now that I'm done with school, I feel like I can finally start life.

OK, I finally got around to uploading a few of the pictures I took in Somalia. they're under the 'link' section.

enjoy! I'm not much of a photographer but I tried :)

My friend just left for South Korea to teach English for a year. She'll be missed. :( But I wish her all the luck in the world (not that she'll need it.)

Hey, I just realized I have a whole month to kill before my internship starts in January. I'm not going to bother looking for jobs as I doubt anyone would want to hire me for just a month; and I really can't go anywhere since I'm low on cash...But that's OK because now I have time to chill and relax, you might say I have time to chillax! Man, I really can't recall the last time I had an entire month to waste. I'm looking forward to it =)

....I'm just one lucky biatch when it comes to certain things!!

First of all, apologies for not updating sooner..I haven't really been feeling too well. No it wasn't an illness, it's just that the trip to somalia changed me a lot and I really couldn't come to grips with a lot of things for a while. After being there, I started to question a lot of things - mainly I had to revaluate what I thought was important. Plus, it was a really difficult thing to readjust to living in canada after being back home and seeing the situation of the people back there.

But I'm OK now, I swear :) I feel much better. back to my old little self :) And I still need to get them pictures scanned. Next week I promise..

And now, on to the purpose of this post!

A handfull of my friends have always pegged me as 'lucky' when it comes to finding jobs and whatnot. And I've always dismissed that... I'd always rave about hard work, determination and persistance and insist that luck had nothing to do with anything!!

But methinks I need to take that back

Through a very interesting turn of events, I'm going to south africa to intern for a human rights organization in Johannesburg. From Jan to April I believe. It's all so surreal at this point but it's starting to sink in. Actually I can go as soon as my visa comes through, but they told me since they won't be working from dec 10 to Jan 9 (summer festive) it's better to come then. InshAllah I'll be heading off early Jan and won't be back until late April... I still can't believe it!

That's all for now =)

p.s. I graduated Nov 15, so I'm oficially free from the instituationalized slavery otherwise known as "university"

hey! long time no update! I would've put something in here sooner but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Not that much has happened since I came back anyway. Actually it took a while to feel like I was really 'back'. I don't know, it was an odd feeling. Oh and I haven't forgotten about the pictures - they'll be up just as soon as I can get them scanned.

Moving on...something cool just happened: details are sketchy at this point but it seems like a human rights organization in south africa might take me on as an intern! This would be perfect! beyond perfect. Crossing my fingers that it comes through.

oh my lord I'm back! I'm home sweet home :)

A lot of things have happened in the past week: I've handed in my last essay, wrote my last exams (and basically finished my undergrad!) came back from Ottawa, recieved my passport, bought my ticket to Somalia and the UK...

so yeah, it's been a busy week :)

I'm leaving the country tonight and it still hasn't sunk in. I'm still excited about it though, but it's kind of like a numb excitement.

Anyway, I really don't know what to expect but I'm hoping for the best! Oh, and I'll try to post a shitload of pictures if I have access to the internet, just so you can see for yourself what Somalia is like.

BYE!

"Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn

I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you.."

*sigh* I love listening to the smashing pumpkins, their music makes my feel fuzzy and warm all over :)

I just finished the last essay I will ever write as an undergrad

If I had more time I would sit and reflect but I gotta run and hand this shit in!

I have serious, serious problems. too many to mention but two off the top of my head:
- I'm a chronic procrastinator
- I'm addicted to skittles

there's no hope for me. just lock me up right now before I start to babble and run around the city poking/stabbing people with my rusty knives.

'nother day, 'nother essay

*sigh*

can't wait to leave all of this behind - two weeks until the final exams (and two weeks till I say goodbye to undergrad FOREVER - provided I pass my classes...

oh man, how embarassing! somebody shoot me!

I learned something yesterday: whenever I drink too much, I must make SURE to go to the bathroom before leaving :( peeing in a bush is always degrading but having someone SEE you do it is a totally different matter...thankfully they pretended not to see me and walked on, so that was a relief. I coulda just died if they stopped to stare and laugh at me..

"Rollin down the street, smoking indo, sippin' on gin and juice.."
BIATCH!

hehe, thank goodness for internet radio :) it almost (ALMOST) makes up for the fact that I'm in school writing an essay on a perfectly good Saturday night.

back to work.

.........

so bored! dang. If things don't pick up I'm going to have to do something drastic.

I've been in Ottawa for a couple of weeks now and I'm having a good time...got to reunite with some good ol' friends, including one I haven't talked to for about 6 years. she lives in Arizona but was in town for a friend's wedding. And I got to see a movie with a friend I haven't seen since we were in grade 8, man it's crazy how people change.

I'm staying over at a cousin's house and I'm glad she took me in - saves me a lot of $$ :) saving money is always good. She doesn't cook (good for her!) so for a while I ate out everyday O_o and let me tell you, for someone keen on saving money, I sure didn't spare any expense! but I got my act together and went grocery shopping so I can pack my food or eat at home.

anyhoo, everything's OK. the classes are OK - actually one class is great but the other is a complete and total waste of time (and money). the final is worth a 100% of the final mark! what the fuck kind of shit is that?!? for someone with test anxiety that's pretty harsh. and on top of that, the prof has this annoying habit of going on crazy tangents about things that don't matter! argh, I better pass this course.. Carleton U is pretty though, that kind of (almost) makes up for my shitty class.

oh and I didn't get the job...but that's OK. really. actually it's a pretty good thing - I have classes four days a week so a full-time job would just end up destroying me!

so guess what, I have an interview:) It's the same job I talked about in the earlier posts - the people changed the interview date so now I AM going to get a chance to get a cool summer job! yay, wish me luck!

I'm leaving for ottawa this tuesday - my bus leaves an hour after I write my last exam. I probably have to bring my crap with me to the exam, just so that I don't have to rush back home...it'll look a little silly, coming to the exam with a huge duffel bag. but then again, I've never been one to care about looking silly :p

tata!

"When third world countries lose a nurse, teacher, or engineer and Canada gets a cleaner, everyone loses."

This is from an article I read a while ago and it got me thinking...is canada too restrictive when it comes to foreign training/credentials?

I have mixed feelings about this issue...I mean I can understand that it might be next to impossible to have some kind of standardized system for foreign credits and training...but at the same time though, I feel like our gov't is being a little underhanded when it comes to attracting skilled workers from other countries (epecially those from the 'third world')...

Who hasn't heard the shpeel about how Canada's labour force isn't growing at a desired rate? And how skilled immigrants are needed to keep the economy afloat? This is what foreigners hear all the time. Canada needs you! Bring your skills to Canada! bla bla bla. The gov't doesn't give proper warning to these people about the reality of the situation. It doesn't tell them that their years of education will probably go to waste and that they might have to do even MORE schooling! And it sure as hell doesn't tell them that they probably have to take jobs nobody else wants!!

....sorry for the rant. Anyhoo peoples, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to bash Canada. I love this country, but it's good to criticize from time to time...keeps us on our toes :)

I'm having strong urges to stab someone in the head with a large butcher knife.

just kidding! :)

or am I?

Haha! I'm playing

or maybe not...

lol, really, I'm kidding. just feeling a little frustrated at the moment :\

something awesome happened today - I got a callback for an amazing summer job in Ottawa! I thought that was great, I just love getting called back, even when I don't end up getting the job. the fact that they acknowledged my application is pretty cool (yeah..I'm a loser, I know ^ ^)

anyhoo, UNFORTUNATELY the interview is this Friday, in Ottawa. and there's absolutely no way I can go - I thought I could but I realize now it's just not possible right now. *sigh* No worries though, I'm a big believer in that everything happens for a reason. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. :)

The last few days were hectic! moving is such a pain in the ass. I'm not fully unpacked yet and it's taking forever to find everything - I should be more organized next time I move.

"next time" isn't that far off by the way, I'm leaving for Ottawa in late June/early July...don't have a clue where I'm staying yet...I'm dead broke right now so I'm probably going go have to mooch off some friends/family until I can find me a job.

oh man, I have a shitload of work waiting for me - essays and such..so I guess I should get on that and stop fooling around on the 'net!

I'm so depressed! but not in a suicidal way :p

everything's so stagnant right now. while most of my friends are graduating here I am stuck in school for the rest of summer. They have internships, job interviews and DIRECTION, and me - I have nothing! unless of course you count the midterms, papers and credit card bills...

bollocks!

I. HATE. BUREAUCRACY!!!

feels good to get that out.

Dang, I don't understand why it should take 5 signatures, 8 forms, 4 weeks and almost a hundred bucks to take a couple of freaking credits in another university! wtf. are they just TRYING to make life more difficult?!

jeez louise...

well. at least I didn't come out of that morass empty handed! For the second half of the summer I'm going to be taking classes at Carleton. oh I can't wait to go back to Ottawa! sigh, I loves Ottawa.

Toronto bites. I think so anyway, it's just not my cup of tea. I might actually try to go back to Ottawa permanently next fall...but of course it all depends. I probably won't be able to find a decent job there, on account of me not being bilingual. but we'll see how it goes.

ALSO, I'm taking two courses right now, for the first half of summer only, at UofT. The classes ('Sex and Gender' and 'Language and Society') are great so far, but the work load's been keeping me really busy.

IT'S SHOWTIME!!!

My exams are finally starting - about the same time that everyone else's is finishing. But whatev, I got more time to study at least!

Two nights ago I listened to the most amazing interview on the radio! I usually listen to late-night talk shows before sleeping but after hearing the interview I couldn't even DREAM of trying to go to sleep. OH. MY. G*D. The things this man said were so out there but they made so much sense. the implications are HUGE!!

The show is called Coast to Coast and the guy being interviewed was Jordan Maxwell. I don't usually pay that much attention to this show since most of the guests end up talking about flying saucers and extra-terrestrial activities on earth, but this particular episode was so damn UNBELIEVABLE!

I really don't what to say or how I can even try to summarize what he said. that's how huge it is.

click here to listen. if you can, listen to Maxwell's part of the show. I guarantee it will leave you speechless. Or go to his site and see where his next interview will be - http://www.jordanmaxwell.com/radio.html.

this is huge, it's like SO freaking huge. oh man, I don't know if I'll ever think the same about ANYTHING after this. this man is THE man.

Oh man, I really need to stop drinking jolt cola. gotta go, bye!

I'm going to save myself a lot of typing and sum up how I'm feeling right now with this picture...the little figure in the fetal position would be me.

ugh.

I need professional help

It's that time of the year again! I'm writing three essays and preparing for a presentation, all at the same time! so...



...please don't take offence if I snap at you and threaten to skin you alive with a blunt knife and then dip you in Chlorox... :)

Fuckshit fuckshit fuckshit, oh damn it all to hell and back!!!! my computer got attacked by a vicious virus and now it's dead! oh jeez, three years of documents, pictures music GONE all fucking gone!!!!!! that REALLY sucks.

Something happened yesterday (Friday) which makes me think that I'm losing what's left of my sanity. Without going into too much detail, I'll just tell you that I had the manager and security personnel of a major provincial government office preoccupied for about 30 minutes. It's just amazing how dumb I can be sometimes...

Now that I have internet at home, I'll write in here more regularly. And I think I'm going to do a little re-decorating in here. Will try to find something that's a little less ugly. Really, I don't know what I was thinking using this template.

I have a lot I want to write but I don't have time to right now...an essay is waiting to be finished! It's due on Wednesday and I'm already half done, this a freaking record I tells ya!

Hot damn! I can't believe how I've been negleting my precious blog! Anyway, nothing new is going on. Life still sucks and I'm still up to my neck in school work....I want to write more but I gotta run!

hehe guess who's on the cover of this week's eye magazine. so cool!

Midterm....NEXT WEEK....50%!

GRPPSHKESGGLESESSESHS

oi

interesting thing: today I got email from 3 friends who I haven't spoken to in ages...

(!!)

I just thought that was something worth posting.

bye.

um I don't know what to write right now.

The last month has been boring. I mean REALLY boring, like "brings tears to your eyes" kind of bring. My life pretty much revolves around work and school.

If I don't pull myself out of this slump soon I may have to do something drastic.